sorry for those who are regulars here... Oops.. really not on purpose...
Anyhow...i had an eventful kick start for May..
Hmm traumatise? not really .. Hurt ? definitely...
only 3 persons would noe about this unless the person who inflicted that impact n almost incurable "wound" on mi go abt telling ppl ? I hope he din..
perhaps this is his way of revenge? or his way of showing how much i really matter to him..
bt im speechless n at the same time totally destroyed by him ...
I seriously dunno why.. im deserving this..
im sad.. im devastated? i dunno .. juz simply cant find a word to describe aptly how i feel...
the first few days.. was really emo for mi.. i would juz sit in Fadhly's car n start crying ... or alone in th data room ( my work place) having a fierce fight with my tears...
Im seriously disappointed n sad.. i dunno why he is doing all this to mi .. in wat way do i deserve it? or perhaps u ( u noe who im referring) juz confront me ? anyway i doubt u can hurt mi any deeper...
Adding on .. Thanks fadhly for being there for mi ... n Beckham ..
Hmm.. after tt incident.. i kept having many tots.. i dunno why.. maybe it juz triggered my emotions to think abt a lot of things that i dun wish to think abt .. but somehow i juz start thinking abt... sadness filled mi ... as if dementors are near... i kept having sad feelings.. tear easily.. ( for ppl who are close to mi knows tt i almost nv cry in front of frenz... )
Another issue is about frenz bah...
Hmm Miss Pang PG would noe what im saying?
haha... was confiding to her a lot tt day... during our course break time...
dun u guys find life is sumtimes a joke? esp with frenz?
SomeOne u treat so whole-heartedly n sincerely actually give u a feeling as if she is building a solid barrier between u n her?
Perhaps all tt closeness with u b4 was all an act ...
Perhaps when u r willing to pour ur heart n soul to her ... she is juz there patronising u ?
I dunno .. im juz too sad to think or even sms her anymore..
let her juz b a normal fren to mi .. despite how much i like her as a fren... how much i treasure her..
However.. on the other hand.. someone may treat u in similar manner.. yet.. u repay her back the same manner?
I always find it ridiculous..
Example..
A wanna b close fren with B but all B wans as a fren is C ..
But C is totally not interested abt making close fren with B...
hence B wun bother A. at the same time C wun bother B.
Maybe cuz C juz dun lik B n ... B juz find A hypocrite?
In the end 2 person are hurt..
why a simple friendship can get tt complex.. n hurtful...? i tot friendship makes ppl happy n makes ppl feels tt life is juz mroe colourful when frenz are around u ?
Haix.. i dunno .. confuse...
Btw... I was extended till june for my CPF work.. haha.. =)
Hmm.. went to Xan xan bday on sun.. haha xan xan so cute now...growing strong..
he'll bcome a strong n smart guy juz like his dad !
I believe he will oso b as strong as auntie... auntie muz jia you.. ok i doubt u will see this though..
Sometimes almost everything u see are so superficial n so pretendious tt if it is not from the mouth of someone whom u trust so much in .. u will nv think such impossible happenings would really happen.. haix.. v not convenient for mi to comments.
Ok.. quite a long post!
Juz i hav been surpressing myself too often result in this outbreak?
Haix..i dunno..
Nowadays i seem to think more than often abt this qn... :
"God, why are these happening?"
